laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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