You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
