Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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