my mouth tastes like poor choices
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
