Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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