dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize