His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
