Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe