i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though