The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
No subtext here. People are naked.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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