I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
