i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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