not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
