i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
