Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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