i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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