ugly people sure do ruin things
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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