p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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