and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
