I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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