It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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