She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
