How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize