I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
