There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
