good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize