Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Your penis caused this!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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