its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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