I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
