can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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