My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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