your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
whose parrot is this?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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