paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
