Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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