He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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