Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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