oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
