; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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