some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
