What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
