he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
