We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
