Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
