Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize