you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
only you would photoshop your dick
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
