You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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