Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize