That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
