I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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