They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
