D3 body, D1 cock
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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