No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
