Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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