Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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