if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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