I wannas sexs uuuuu
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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