i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
