I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
