Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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