You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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