You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
