I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
