I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
