hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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