I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I see more hoeing in ur future
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